{"id":17523,"date":"2019-11-25T05:30:44","date_gmt":"2019-11-25T10:30:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/?p=17523"},"modified":"2019-11-25T07:14:36","modified_gmt":"2019-11-25T12:14:36","slug":"so-bad-theyre-still-bad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/2019\/11\/25\/so-bad-theyre-still-bad\/","title":{"rendered":"So Bad They&#8217;re \u2026 Still Bad"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Part of my role as a music journalist is to be a critic. While these days I focus more on features, interviews and essays, I still review quite a lot of music. And I&#8217;ve done so since the very beginning. But my approach to the task has gone through a number of stages.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-17524\" src=\"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/verybad.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"350\" srcset=\"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/verybad.jpg 350w, http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/verybad-150x150.jpg 150w, http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/verybad-300x300.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" \/>In my earliest days as a professional(!) writer, I pretty much took on any assignment that came my way. I wrote for a print magazine, and the editor would randomly send out CDs to the review staff, instructing us to turn in a piece a few days after receiving the disc (this was in the days before streaming was widespread). The result of that random method was that I sometimes \u2013 no, oftentimes \u2013 got CDs that, let&#8217;s say, fell well outside of my scope of interest.<\/p>\n<p>I reviewed &#8217;em anyway. Some were clearly good for what they were, even if they didn&#8217;t pique my interest. Others were so clearly wretched that no amount of well-I-don&#8217;t-know-that-much-about-this-kinda-music backpedaling could save them.<\/p>\n<p>And so I reviewed &#8217;em anyway. To some degree, time has vindicated my emphatic thumbs-down on these releases. By that I mean that the albums \u2013 and in most cases the artists themselves \u2013 have been consigned to the dustbin of history. Put another way, they aren&#8217;t still making music, least not under the same names.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Vaeda<\/strong> released their debut, <i>State of Nature<\/i> in 2006. The songs on the album got played on <em>NCIS<\/em>, a show aimed at an older demographic. Odd for a group that played Vans Warped Tours. My guess is that their shitty tunes were the soundtrack to some scenes featuring that sorta-goth looking female character. The band went on \u201cindefinite hiatus\u201d in 2009 and hasn&#8217;t been heard from since. It&#8217;s no loss. <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/2009\/04\/17\/album-review-vaeda-state-of-nature\/\">Here&#8217;s my review of Vaeda&#8217;s <i>State of Nature<\/i><\/a>.<\/li>\n<p><\/p>\n<li>\u201cExtreme metal\u201d \u2013 and extremely bad \u2013 British act <strong>Cradle of Filth<\/strong> is still around, I&#8217;m afraid. Though the kind of music they make was well past its sell-by date when they recorded and released <i>Thornography<\/i> way back in 2006. Even <i>Metal Hammer<\/i> \u2013 a publication staffed by people who presumably enjoy this garbage \u2013 described a track off the album as \u201cridiculous\u201d and \u201cbest avoided.\u201d Those two descriptors could have served as my review, but no: I had to have some fun with it. I was so annoyed by having to endure the album that I needed a means to vent. I did so right here, with <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/2009\/03\/11\/album-review-cradle-of-filth-thornography\/\">my review of Cradle of Filth&#8217;s <i>Thornography<\/i><\/a>.<\/li>\n<p><\/p>\n<li>I dug Trio&#8217;s &#8220;Da Da Da.\u201d It was an inconsequential yet fun slice of German synthpop from the 1980s. But a group called <strong>Mah Jongg<\/strong> seems to have learned all the wrong lessons from it and made a terrible record of their own called <i>Kontpab<\/i>. They threw in the towel in 2011 after releasing a, er, <i>trio<\/i> of albums. <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/2009\/03\/30\/album-review-mah-jongg-kontpab\/\">Here&#8217;s my review of Mah Jongg&#8217;s <i>Kontpab<\/i><\/a>. Bizarrely, today it&#8217;s something of a collectors&#8217; item. (Germany has a ton of great music, but that&#8217;s a subject for another post.)<\/li>\n<p><\/p>\n<li>From my perspective, there&#8217;s no musical genre more worth of ridicule than Christian metal. Imagine a bunch of dudes \u2013 and it&#8217;s pretty well <i>always<\/i> dudes \u2013 who (a) are really angry and (b) would have us believe that they&#8217;re followers of Jesus. Now, sometimes that particular combination leads one to blow up women&#8217;s health clinics. Other times it might just lead one to vote for a vile, spray-tanned fascist as president. And other times it would move them to put together a band and make unimaginative tripe like <strong>War of Ages<\/strong>&#8216; third album, <em>Fire from the Tomb<\/em>. I don&#8217;t remember any Easter fire in the gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke or John, but hey, <em>artistic license<\/em>, right? Sure. But this ain&#8217;t art. I say so in my review of <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/2009\/04\/18\/album-review-war-of-ages-fire-from-the-tomb\/\">War of Ages&#8217; <i>Fire From the Tomb<\/i><\/a>. A mere three albums in, these clowns were already recycling 90% of their material on this 2007 release; one would think they&#8217;d have given up by now. They have not. Almost makes me wish that rapture would happen soon.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>As a palate cleanser, go listen to some good music. You&#8217;ll find reviews of plenty right here at Musoscribe. As always, thanks for reading.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Part of my role as a music journalist is to be a critic. While these days I focus more on features, interviews and essays, I still review quite a lot [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":17524,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[65],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17523","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-review","cat-65-id","has_thumb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17523","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17523"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17523\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17804,"href":"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17523\/revisions\/17804"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17524"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17523"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17523"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.musoscribe.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17523"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}